Thursday, 28 March 2013

I took a break.

So, I decided to take a break from this blog and my YouTube channel, even though I had just started both basically, but life kinda got to me.
I've been feeling down for a long time about who I am, what I want to do and be, what I look like.. Generally everything.

But I want to change this, I want to change it all.

Starting tomorrow, I am going on a diet and going to start exercising, and saying yes to more opportunities instead of shying away. Now, I'm not overweight or particularly ugly or anything.. Not being vain but I'm not. However, I am still unhappy. I notice the little things that other people don't, and I've developed the opinion that if I get rid of all the bad things in my life and replace them with good things, then I will also become good.
And by bad things, I mean bad food, bad use of my time, bad people etc..

So starting tomorrow, I am getting rid of the bad food I eat, and replacing it with good food. I am going to the supermarket in the morning, and buying lots of fruit and vegetables to motivate me to eat them, and I am throwing out all my sweets in the house, or actually locking them away, like really. I need to lock my sweets away to stop me eating them, that is how bad my sweet tooth is.

I've been slacking on my karate classes recently due to University work, so I am going to dedicate myself to going to class more and making better use of my time; less time watching TV on the couch, more time studying, exercising, seeing friends, and being happy!

As for the 'saying yes' more thing, I do say no a lot. Not because I have anxiety or anything (at least I don't think I do) I am just socially awkward. Like really. Meeting up with people genuinely scares me and I just feel that everyone judges me, because of what I look like and who I am, because I am a bit of a weirdo once people get to know me, and people say it to my face.. And it hurts.

So I hide. I hide from everyone, even my boyfriend, who I just told about how sad I am.. I just can't take being down with myself anymore, I need to change things in my life before this sadness becomes my life story.

I'll be updating this blog regularly on my 'journey' you could say, on my road to happiness again. Starting tomorrow.

Wish me luck!

Also, p.s., I will start up beauty reviews, FOTD, NOTD, OOTD, and whatever else I used to do (seems like forever!) soon. Life just took over for a while.

Have a lovely day. <3

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